I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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