Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
