That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What drink are we having for lunch?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
