When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
