I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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