separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
