he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just threw up on my dentist
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
