dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
