It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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