I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
