No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
