for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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