Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
