so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
