Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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