Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
