I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
