consequently i now know what mace tastes like
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
