I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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