I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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