im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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