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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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