awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We are all done wearing pants today
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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