all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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