Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
North Korea, Best Korea!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
