I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
