Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
