can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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