Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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