Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
