To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her vagine was all disorganized.
Non-Jews are for practice
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
