how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
