idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
