Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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