please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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