I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
