Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
