Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
