I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize