Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
