Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
