Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
