My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
whose parrot is this?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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