I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
