bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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