look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
