I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
