How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
