The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need to calm my uterus...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
