I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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