we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
