The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
