I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How drunk are you?
Completed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
