I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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