Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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