Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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