you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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